Drowning.....

Do you ever feel that you're drowning....and you don't know exactly how you got there? Life is so complicated right now. I am drowning....and every time I come up for air I get pushed right back under the water.

I was swimming - having fun - loving life - on top of the world. There were small cramps here and there that stopped me, but for the most part things were good. And then all of a sudden, out of the blue I was under the water fighting for my life. Struggling to find my way to the surface. Praying that this was not the end. All of a sudden - I found myself in hostile waters - without a life preserver.

I keep looking for land, hoping that things will calm. Hoping that my soul will find peace. Hoping that my circumstances will change. I am holding on to my faith - knowing that God will not leave me. I know that there are times when our life gets redirected - and I know that change is hard. I know that letting go of things sometimes is the healthiest thing that we can do - and the hurt that is left we have to give to God to heal. There are scars, battle wounds, but time does heal what is broken if we let it.

For me - life can never go back to the way that it once was. I feel God has called me to stand up and make changea in my life. Change that is necessary. Change that is not only beneficial to my soul, but to my existance, and vital to my family. Letting go and moving on is hard - change is hard. However, if we work the process - if we have faith - if we allow God to change the things within us that need to change - we will come out on the other side a stronger, happier - more whole person.

Change is hard. Letting go is difficult. But sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing.

My story will have a happy ending.