Friday started off like any normal day for me. I got up, got everyone ready and out the door. I took the girls to school and then Jc* to his 9 month checkup. I had expected that it would be like any nomal checkup.....stats all good, developmental milestones all reached, etc. So when the doctor came in and was immediately concerned with Jc's weight I was taken aback. My son, who I thought was perfect, had not gained any weight. Surprised at this information, I was bit. However in the last 3 months he started moving and crawling burnng more calories and he still isn't eating baby food. So I can understand it. However - the doc still felt that more tests were needed to see why he wasn't eating. I felt on the edge.....and sad. She wrote the order for blood tests, had her nurse set up an appointment with a Pediatric Gastroenterologist, and gave us a script for a new acid reflux medicine.
I left the office kind of defeated. How had I not known something was wrong? What kind of mother am I? And how was I going to survive the blood draw? I had been through this with Jn* when she as little and it was one of the most tramatic events I can remember! It was terrible! So I'm driving to the lab and crying - trying to pull it together! I get to the lab and had to wait for a little bit at it was quite busy. So I looked over the orders that had been written. Under reason for testing were the words that made my stomach drop - "Failure to Thrive". What???? I couldn't believe my eyes! My son was thriving. He was developmentally on target for his age. He just wasn't eating baby food. Wouldn't it have been more correct to write failure to gain weight or failure to eat. Seriously! I felt like the world's worst mother!
I am happy to report that Jc* made it through the blood draw lik a champ, barely even crying! And the new meds seem to have made a huge difference. He is starting to eat more table foods now so that is promising. I am hoping that all comes back normal with the blood tests and that in 3 weeks when he gets reweighed he will be "thriving" and we'll be able to cancel the appointment with the specialist.
It was a rough day. I broke down. I second guessed myself. But in the end I did learn something about myself and my abilities.
2 comments:
OH Mindy, my heart broke for you reading this! I just sympathized with you in reading this and what you said you felt - I would have had the exact same feelings and thoughts! You are certainly @ the top of my list for some of the BEST moms I know and (now let me put my nursing cap on....) as a "medical professional" - I would have NEVER ever in a gazillion years labeled your little Peanut as "Failure to Thrive"...I've seen "Failure to Thrive"...he's not it!!!
Can I completely second what Diana said?? Your baby boy is certainly the opposite of "failing to thrive" in my mind! But I totally would have been right there where you were if the same thing had happened to me! You are a wonderful mama and don't let some insensitive Dr's note make you think otherwise!
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