Tough Day

Have you ever thought, "if I only had x number of days or months to live how would I spend them?" I've often thought about it, but in the end it didn't feel concrete because it wasn't happening to me. I have never known anyone who got a timeframe for the end of their life - until today. Today my 86 year old Grandfather was given 6 to 9 months to live. What do you do with that information? How do you even begin to process that?

I'm so sad. I'm sad for my Grandfather - who has had a full life and is a wonderful man. A man that I have lots and lots of fond memories of. He taught me how to chew when I was just a kid (okay it was just the Big League Bubble Gum Chew - but still he taught me how to pack my cheek and spit out the juice!). I always imagined that someday he'd teach my kids. I remember countless summer nights sitting on the porch swinging with him and all those fun nights of playing cards. Oh soooo many good memories. I used to love going to see him at work. He worked at a Stone Quarry and he would take us down in the pits. It was so exciting and he just always seemed larger then life.

I'm sad for my father. I can't even begin to imagine what it feels like to lose a parent. And dad is the only living child - his brother passed away in his 20's. What a lot to have to shoulder on his own. Dad is a strong, strong man.....but my heart still aches for him and what he must be going through.

The logical side of me know that this is just life. We are all born - we all die. The spiritual side of me know that my Grandfather is saved and that He will go to Heaven for Eternity. The emotional side of me thinks this all sucks!