Parent Orientation

Last night I had to go to Parent Orientation for Kindergarten. I cannot believe the Jn is already ready for this! It seems like only yesterday we brought her home from the hospital.

So I go to this meeting not feeling too bad, but came out in a panic. Maybe they should serve margaritas - I know it would have helped me! I know I shouldn't feel so anxious about sending my child to school - but I'm sad. I don't want her to go yet! She is still my baby. I'm not ready for her to grow up. And I know that things will really move quickly now that she is in school. Life will never be the same!

I truly thought it wouldn't be a big deal to send her to Kindergarten. She has been in preschool for 2 years and away from me. But this is different. This is so much bigger. Preschool felt kind of like just "playing school". This is the real thing. No looking back. She is now part of the system. I know she will love it. I know she will do great! She is ready in every way that a 5 year old needs to be ready.

So why am I so afraid. Why am I so anxious about this next step? Is it a loss of control? Is it the realization that life is changing? Is it that the school years fly by? I never thought I would be that parent. I never thought I'd be the mom who cries when she puts her child on the bus in the morning for the first time. Or the mom who worries will my child find her class, make friends, be a good student, listen to the teacher, etc, etc. But I am that mom. I am that mom because I love this little girl with all of my heart and soul. I want only the very best for her. I want her to be full of joy and life. I don't want to see her heart get broken or her feelings get hurt. I don't want to see her get left out of things. I want her to have her heart's desires and to be a loving, caring and giving individual. I want her to be independent and make good decisions. I want only the very best life has to offer.

I know she isn't a "little" girl anymore. I know that she has to take this next step in her life's journey. I know that she will be strong and have fun and do well! And I know that in time my anxiety will subside. But for now I will fight every urge I have to pull her out of Kindergarten and keep her home with me for one more year.